Sandals - Montego Bay Jamaica April 8th – April 15th 2012 “Reunion Week”
Overall rating · Sandals - Montego Bay has the makings of an above average resort. However, the lack of maintenance and the over worked staff seem to be hindering its ability to be even an average Caribbean resort. Perhaps the most disturbing thing about our visit was the staffs laid back attitude about everything. Look when my wife and I go to a Caribbean all-inclusive resort we expect things to be laid back and to be pampered a bit – we do not expect the staff to take their time fixing issues or blow off our concerns with a “no problem Man” they should be on point at all times – eager and willing to make things right.
Think about it we paid over $700.00 a day to stay at this resort, the food was subpar, the entertainment was a joke, and better accommodations can be found at the local Best Western Hotel.
Accommodations · We stayed in the Bay Roc Villa (#1872) Honeymoon Beachfront Extraordinaire $5k+ for 7 nights. Certainly nothing special about the room other than its location. It was almost at the very end of the property so the foot traffic around the unit was not bad. The room itself clearly showed the age of the resort and the poor craftsmanship of the maintenance department – The paint on the walls was cracked, the toilet was set in place at an angle, the exterior of the building needed a complete face lift, and the list goes on. However, the biggest issue we had was the lack of hot water and the water pressure.
· The house keeping staff performed more a quick walk through of out room than a daily cleaning service. Our sheets were not changed daily we did not receive fresh soap, shampoo, or conditioner. There as and probably still is an inch of sand under the living room rug. Additionally, the housekeeping staff (as well as the rest of the staff) was extremely loud; it was as if they were standing on your bed yelling when they were cleaning the neighbor’s room.
· There were 6 restaurants of which 2 we did not bring appropriate clothing to dine at and 1 that we chose not to dine at.
o Bayside -
§ Breakfast
· Buffet with eggs to order – the food on the Buffett line was hideous and would not be permitted at even the worst “Golden corral”
§ Lunch
· Same as the Breakfast Buffet
§ Dinner
· A la Carte – the food was better than the Buffet; however, the service was horrendous. We ate dinner here on our first night and we had already received and eaten our appetizers before I gave up and went to the main bar to get my wife a diet coke. When I told the Manager what had happened he did not apologize he just turned and yelled for someone to get her a diet coke.
§ Best service – Robert at breakfast service – he was awesome always smiling and ready to get you whatever you needed
§ Worst service – The pregnant Hostess – as rude as they come at this resort
§ Breakfast lunch and dinner
o The Cricketer’s Pint
§ Lunch and Dinner
· This was the place we frequented the most. The pub itself is rather Dark and gloomy; however, the food is served piping hot and is made fresh. The menu for Lunch and Dinner is the same and we had the best experience with the Shepard’s pie.
· The Pub claims to serve Guinness beer – it is not the Guinness that you are used to it’s a Jamaican version that tastes like a decent stout beer but certainly not the smooth creaminess of a true pint of Guinness.
o Dino’s Pizzeria
§ Lunch
· Actually decent pizza – though the topping selections are limited the crust and sauce was quite good.
· Right on the beach with outside seating only and shares a building with the Mariner’s Grill.
o Mariner’s Grill
§ Lunch
· Burgers, Hot Dogs, Jerk Chicken, Jerk Pork, and snacks. Not the best snack food but certainly not the worst. Think of a high school baseball concession stand.
o Oleander Did not Rate
§ Dinner
· We did not rate this restaurant because the Dress Code was “Resort Elegant”! How ridiculous is it to go to an island see the same people at the beach all day in bikini’s and swimming trunks that you are going to eat dinner next to while dressing elegant. Seems silly to me.
o Cucina Romana
§ Dinner Did Not Rate
· Same issue with this restaurant as the Oleander; however, I believe the requirement was “Resort Formal”, which to me is a pair of flip flops, shorts and a T-shirt.
o Tokyo Joes
§ Dinner Did Not Rate
· This was a little better but required closed toed shoes!! Come on this an island, I didn’t bring closed toed shoes.
o Stewfish
§ Dinner Did Not Rate
· The dress code at the stew fish was more appropriate for an island paradise; however, the menu did not look very appealing so we decided to pass on it as well.
· Attention to details
o Look, as a resort charging an obscene amount of money for luxury the minimum requirement should be an acute attention to detail by the staff. This is certainly not the case. Nothing started when it was supposed to start. Information provided to the guests consistently changed without notice. Again, the “No Problem Man” motto should work for the guests not the staff.
· Staff
o The staff seemed to be overworked and possessed poor acting skills. The majority of them tried to put on a smile but the truth is they were tired and you could see it every time they passed a guest. I truly believe that the staff members are very thankful to be employed but the hours they work are ridiculous and it shows.
· Butler service
o Ok this is not what a person thinks of when they read “This suite features the intuitive services of your very own personal butler who will pamper in extraordinary ways throughout your stay”. We had 2 butlers and it was like pulling teeth to get anything, let alone pampering us in extraordinary ways. Our 2 butlers split shifts and covered for each other – for us and the other 9 couples that they were “personal Butlers” for.
The truth is we did not want Butler service as we thought that they were actually going to be Butlers; however, we were told by the staff that this as a feature that we just had to experience so we said what the heck. It was a complete joke. The only thing we were able to do was get them to bring a cooler of beer and water (4 each) to the volleyball court 2 times a day. Everything else was a waste of time. Although there was one evening that we got to see/ listen to one of our Butlers and another staff member drinking beer and telling stories with the people in the unit above us while we were trying to sleep. I have a feeling the Folks at the “Guild of Professional English Butlers” would be going crazy if they knew they associated their prestigious reputation with this joke of a service.
· Beach
o The beach was rather small and the swimming area even smaller. The water was free of seaweed and other vegetation in the majority of the swimming area, which is quite nice. However, the “personal” beach areas were terrible with vegetation growing about 10 feet into the water. IT was odd as they apparently built docks at the private beach area a long time ago and have just let them fall apart.
· Bars
o There are 3 bars on the site and there is certainly nothing special about any of them.
§ The Beach Bar was the clear winner as it seemed the staff was upbeat and happy. Shilton was an awesome bartender and really seemed dedicated to ensuring each guest had a great time.
§ The Piano Bar was dead during the day; however, stayed open until late at night so if there is a late night partier in you this maybe the spot for you.
§ The Main Bar – was stuffy and dead unless there was an activity in the Sky Dome and then it was crowded and very very slow.
· Entertainment
o Next to the so-called “Butler Service” this was the most disappointing part of the Resort. At best you could say that the entertainment was second rate. The acts the resort brought in were not to the caliber of what can be found by a street performer in any city in in the US.
The in-house entertainment was very overworked and the acts showed it. They performed nightly and it was about as cheesy as it could get. The female entertainers thought they were “all that and a bag of chips” and the Male entertainers thought that they were the Jamaican versions of Rico Suave. Of course neither is true and in fact it was quite sad.
· Accessibility
o Ok, the best thing about this airport is the quick bus/car trip to the resort. It takes less than 15 minutes to get from the airport to the resort which is quite convenient.
· Location
o With the quick ride from the airport to the resort comes a price. At least 20 times a day (probably closer to 40 or 50) commercial airplanes fly directly over the resort at about 500 feet above the facility. The noise is quite loud and extremely annoying. The flights start early (very early if you are on vacation) and end quite late. Take a look at the video clip below. This is unedited - raw footage. This happens all day every day.
· Accuracy of Marketing
o The Marketing folks do a great job of tricking you into believing that this place is a secluded paradise, with all of the amenities a person could ask for. To them I tip my hat; however, for those of us who were fooled by the photo-shopped pictures in the glossy brochures and websites all I can say is don’t give up the perfect Oasis is out there!
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